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Retail Woes 
If you have worked retail most of your life, then you know there is that "special" customer that comes along, and leaves that lasting impression.
I'm hoping everyone will get a kick out of this, especially those of us who have worked retail.


Dude... I'm really afraid to tell ya, but get a life.
Today this guy around his mid 20s comes in, one of those who look like they don't get out of their house too often, and doesn't say a word to any of us. He stars playing a sports game, and all of a sudden this dude starts jerking around getting into the game. Then he's talking to himself like he's a sports analyst. If that's not weird enough then get this... He stayed in the store and played our games for 3 hours strait not even talking to a single employee in the store, and didn't leave until we were turning consoles off to close the store.
Ohh! I know where it's at now!
I'm now newly employed at a console based store that sells new/used video games, It's a great job and i love it, but we get some strange people here. Anyway to the story. This nice very thin lady comes into the store looking for computer games. Unfortunately we are just a video games store so we don't carry any. I suggest to her CompUSA. She replies she's not sure where it is at so I tell her all these places around it... Applebees, Lone*Star, S&K Mens Ware, by this around that. The very last thing I say is "It's right next to Jenny Craig." Her light bulb lights up, and she says, "Ohh! I know where it's at now!" I think to myself "Haha! Jenny Craig tipped her off?!"
I'm Mr. Job
Today was a pretty slow day. I didn't expect to see much excitement, but boy to my surprise... First the shedding now this! Anyway to the point. A nice guy and his lady walk up to my register. As usual I ring him up and he whips out his Credit Card. I take a look at the name on his card to make sure it's a males name, then a long double take. I swiped it fast through the reader, and place it in the credit card imprinter. I'm standing there trying not to laugh, but I failed, and said to the greeter, "Dave, I just got that one. Hahaha!" Dave is standing there like, What the hell? The couple leaves then I say to Dave "The dude's name is, Peter Job."
I Thought Animals Started Shedding in the Summer... Heh. She Proved Me Wrong.
An old lady in a fur coat, not really having a clue to the world, walks up gives me her items. I notice that there is a hair on the table. Thinking nothing of it i started ringing her up, then I saw a clump of hair on my counter. She starts writing her check, I send it through, give her the receipt. Well she picks up her stuff walks away like everything's normal toward the door, and their is fur all over where she was standing. I turn to the other cashier shaking my head, and pointed at the fur all over my counter, then wiped it off.
The Aroma Aftermath
This lady walks up like normal to my register. I start ringing her out, she writes her check and gives me her driver's license. Then as I'm taking down her info from the license she starts staring at me with her eyes wide open. I acted like I didn't notice her, and just went on. I put her check in my drawer, and all of a sudden she was in a big hurry. The register started printing the receipt, and she kept trying to walk away. I told her twice to hang on because it wasn't finished printing. Then she took it and rushed out the door. I sat there wondering why all of a sudden was she in such a hurry. Well, while I was standing there wondering, I finally found out why... She let a raunchy fart!  =)
Now This Guy Hit a Couple Pet Peeves...
This guy was second to last coming out of the store after we had been closed for a good 15 minutes. He had two large check transactions, and was obnoxious. The guy had his wife write out the check and he'd write the total then sign it. (Odd.) I need his drivers license for info I required. I have most of it written down then he starts reading off what I'm writing down. (A pet peeve of mine) I get to the DOB, he does it again. (Grrr.) Well since it's a large amount I have to call it in. He's talking loud to other people less than a foot away. I can hardly hear so, I turn my volume up on my phone while I'm on hold assuming that will override his decibel problem. The check verification lady comes back on the phone, but I can't here crap because he is so loud. I speak up hoping to give this guy a clue to lower the volume of his voice. (Heh, that didn't work.) I cover my free ear, and speak even louder. He doesn't get the picture and just carries on. (Prick.) I struggle to hear her then get the authorization code. (Darn... I wish they would have declined it.) Not realizing it, I had another transaction to do with him! (Nooooo!) I ring it up, he pulls out another check. (Joy!) I had to go through all that crap again. (Yes!! He read it to me & talked like he was a mile away again.)
The Grumpy Old Man
OK. On checks we need an area code along with the phone number. Recently a few area codes changed in the area, so to be safe I'll ask rather than assume. So like normal, in my nice voice I ask the guy for his area code. He hears me and just stands there. I ask him nicely again for the area code as if he didn't here me the first time. He rudely says, "Any idiot could find out an area code." (Indirectly calling me an idiot.) I say, "It's required here for me to accept your check." He says, "It's in the phone book." (Well, duhh! Along with everyone else in this urban area) I say, "Is it 937?" The dummy stands there again and doesn't answer me. I say, "Sir?" nicely yet again. He finally says "Yes." (yeah! woohoo! hurray! Give this guy a round of applause for this grumpy old man.) I look at the cashier next to me, then I flip the bird to the customer behind his back as he was leaving. HE! He! he!  =)
But It's Mommy's Credit Card
We are strict on credit cards at the store and this guy in his early 30's comes up to buy a few products. Well this guy has a card with a females name on it, and come to find out it's his Mom's. Being polite I ask him if he authorized user by the bank, then tell him I need to call to verify. I call... I'm on hold for a bit... My line builds up... The bank says no he's not on the card. The guy blows up... He's saying profanities and says, "Your making a fool out of me in front of all these people" many many times. Well he stomps out with his temper tantrum, and all the customers in my line start laughing after he left. It Ruled! Customers behind him come up and say stuff like: "So, how's your day going?"  "Your not making a fool of him, he's making a fool of himself."
One of the Most Annoying Windows 95 Problems I Have Ever Heard
This sweet older gentleman came up to me and asked, "Does your tech service answer questions?" I tell him, "I'm not sure how they handle it there, but I'll go ahead and try to answer your question." He says, "Well, every time I turn on my computer it says Starting Windows 95 for the very first time, and I've had it for a year now." My eyes get wide and I tell him to go to tech service that is a pretty bad problem. He walked over there, and I'm sure they helped him solve his problem. I though to my self, "That poor guy, he probably never shut down his computer." Later I herd that there is a file the Windows 95 deletes so that it doesn't go through that process again.

Nice Ass

It was a slow day and I was waiting for a customer to come to my register. Well eventually this guy comes up and says, "The first thing I think of when I look at you was Tight End." I stand there dumb founded wondering is this guy gay or not then he says, "You know... A Tight End for football." Trying with all my might not to laugh in front of this guy, I tell him, "I'm not much of a football fan, but played a bit of Basketball in High School." Standing there in silence waiting for his receipt to finish, he leaves and the greeter and I bust out laughing.
GreenImp Strikes Back!
I ring up this guy then told him his total. I was holding out my had to receive his credit card, and he throws down his credit card on the opposite end of the counter. I reach across to get it... swiped his card... gave him his receipt & watched him sign it because we double check that the signatures match... I handed him everything, but set his card down on my side. He stood there waiting for me to hand it to him. Then I started talking to the other cashier. He finally reached across to my side of the counter to pick up his card. As he left I told him, "Have a nice day."
The Kind, The Generous, The Paranoid
This was not right... I was working software one day and this very kind guy comes up to me. He has a Hallmark card making program, and asks me, "Does this print the Hallmark quality seal on the back?" I started laughing thinking he was screwing around, but he wasn't. So I went around asking the other employees if they knew for him. Come to find out it does?! I feel that is pretty bad that a company has people running around paranoid about what type of greeting card they should get someone.
Please Move People... There is Nothing More to See
This is a good one I herd from a Tech. This guy had brought his PC in to be worked on, and the background of his Windows desktop was a picture of two guys going at it. I guess that's where they get the term "Personal Computer."

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Last Updated:
1-17-2001


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